Bitch pig slave meets foul whore

Happy in future to acknowledge the author of this twisted thread that I've just come across if he happens to click up this blog. Not for those of a delicate disposition (and if you're having breakfast I'd come back later):


"For years my mate and I have had this twisted in-joke going where we email one another stalker-type threats and S/M rantings eg "describe your faeces to me bitch and do not lie for I WILL FIND OUT" etc.

Well we think it's funny. Anyhow a few years ago I was in the process of trying to gently retire a girlfriend via email (the old "it's not you it's me" business)...

You can see where this is heading, can't you?

Cue to mate sending me one morning "hoho today my stool is ripe and sweet, foul slave, open your bitch mouth and gag". Christ, it's like Gandalf meets Roy of Finland. Well I can beat that, can't I: "Foul whore, moan while I roughly impale you on my proudness"... now just tap "send" and ...

Oh.

I hadn't used Reply, just typed out a new message, and Mr Freudian Slip had filled in the address. Well, that's one way to end a relationship, I guess.

When my mate found out, he tried to cheer me up with an email threatening to piss in my anus."

Call it Catholic lapsed humour.